My recent post have been very biblical, mainly because I love scripture. The narrative speaks to me and gives credence to my faith. As it relates to my faith, I could care less if you can prove that Jesus actually did this or said that, or if an Old Testament story is a product of years of revision, pieced together from multiple sources making its historical reliability dubious at best, etc. While these endeavors have their place in responsible scholarship, my faith abides in a completely different realm. I am mythed by those who absolutely have to believe that the dots and lines of what we have today as scripture is inerrant and infallible and all those catch words that apply to the logic. If Jesus did not walk water then the bible is a fraud and God is dead....
To me, the bible is a narrative, a collection of stories that come to us as the products of a sacred community who have held these stories in the highest regard-- to tell us what God means to them. In this, I find a sense of belonging as I find my place within this very sacred community of people who believe that God is and that this God is intimately involved in human affairs.
Do I believe Jesus walked on water? I believe his disciples believed he walked on water and this gives me a glimpse into what they thought about Jesus and his presence among them. Would it destroy my faith if someone could definitively prove he didn't walk on water? Absolutely not! My faith doesn't reside in the historical accuracy of such things. The Christ of faith and tradition abides apart from the historical value of the text. I know my thoughts here reflect a modern theological position that many will identify, but nevertheless, my faith is in a God that existed long before the text or bible we have today. In contrast, however, the scriptures are indispensable in the construction of my faith.
With all that said, let me get back to my recent post. Not only have they been biblical, but I've wrote about tragedy and problems and how we can use what is found in scripture to inform our attitude when facing adversity. I've done this, largely oblivious of the fact that a difficulty was rising upon my very own horizon. Today, I find myself facing a difficulty of my own, not an abstract possibility of a problem, but a very real problem that is so much bigger than I am.
A year ago, I decided to return to work as a plumber/pipe-fitter. I started in the trade 23 years ago but my career was side tracked by a serious back injury in 1999. I had surgery in January of 2000, fused on two levels with accompanying hardware. I worked very hard after surgery and was successful in earning my way back into the trade, passing several functional capacity exams in the process.
This early return was a disaster. I suppose it should not of been such a surprise since the neurosurgeon who performed my surgery was reluctant to allow me to return to the trade. It was only after passing the FCE that he signed off on me, giving me a stern warning that doing so was not in my best interest. But, what is one to do? You are young, you have a family to take of and this is your trade, this is what you've worked for and trained for and its what you know how to do.
After a year of agonizing labor, with consultation with my physician, I left the trade and became a full time Mr. Mom; a job/role that I was completely unprepared for. Looking back, I regret that I did not embrace my position and do it with the same excellence that I have employed at all the jobs I've had in my life. That's another story, I suppose, but in retrospect, it is convicting, to say the least.
After years of being depressed and unfulfilled, I decided to return to the trade. This wasn't because I suddenly decided that I was all better and that my health issues were resolved. But, it was an act of desperation; it was all I knew to do and for my own mental and physical survival, I had to get out of the house.
Those first few weeks were grueling. I had no idea if I would be able to make it. But, to my surprise and infinite relief, I was able to manage the pain. I dug holes, worked in 8 ft. deep trenches, laid 500 ft of 2 inch galvanized pipe in the ground, climbed under houses, the whole gamut. Which, by the way, was a million times more difficult than what I was used too. I was a commercial/industrial plumber and crawl spaces and sewer cleaning was totally out of my scope of work, but I adapted and was proud of myself and grateful for God's grace to allow me to do it.
Then, I met "Mr. Hole." I was working in a church of all places, up on a mezzanine that wrapped around the sanctuary, and fell into a hole that was cut for some duct work that was yet to be installed. My leg went all the way down into the hole, all the way to my hip. It was a painful experience and one that for me, was definitely not what I needed to happen.
All I wanted was to work, to feel like a man and provide for my family, and my trade is and was the only way I know how to do it. Now, what I did not want to happen has happened. A problem bigger than me has raised its ugly head in my world with the intent to ruin me.
As I reflect upon these things, I am reminded of the previous post I've written, post that looked at stories in the bible where people were faced with problems bigger than they could handle and how God helped them overcome and succeed in spite of it all. This is where the beauty of scripture is really seen for me. The momentum of sacred writ that has given people hope and resolve to overcome in spite of it all; a narrative that says God is alive and visible in our world, regardless of how difficult life may be at the moment.
As I face the storm that lies before me, I must balance justice on one side and the needs of my family on the other. I am grateful that I have something to lean upon, a God that I believe in and that I believe can and will transform my mayhem in to something magnificent.
As I close this post, I am reminded of statement made by a prominent German theologian of the late 19th century, Martin Kahler. He stated that "[t]he real Christ is the preached Christ." Obviously, those familiar with Kahler and the methodology that ensued from his work will understand the controversy embedded in this statement. But, I identify and believe in what he said. The academy can critique and apply all the methodological tools available to modern scholarship (and I believe this is a very fruitful endeavor), but scripture has proven that it abides in a different realm. It is sacred, not because we can prove its historical reliability, etc, but because it invokes faith in a God that is real and allows us to experience the divine in today's world. It gives us a reference point for which we can evaluate our faith in light of the tradition we have received.
I am so thankful that I have the scriptures to comfort and guide me in this time of crisis. I can look to a Jesus who is the resurrection and life; I can trust in a God who will protect and keep me in the darkest of times.
No comments:
Post a Comment