It was the Sunday before Memorial day, obviously, so my spiritual sensibilities had already been assaulted by a nationalistic video played prior to Gayle coming on stage. I told my wife how amazing it is that every time I go to that church (Calvary Chapel of the Triad), it's as if God just somehow someway puts a muzzle on me and makes me sit there and listen. Now, that might be funny to you, but I aint [sic] digging it sometime!
Erwin is big these days in explaining the nature of God; a task I am glad he feels up too.... It's like explaining the nature of the wind or trying to answer the question of how big is our Universe? What is the true nature of a black hole? You get me; I love the man but I found that statement almost arrogant. Explain the nature of God???? Yeah! Okay! So I sit back and I had this arrogant "show me" kind of attitude. I know, honesty sucks! Ha!
Then he does it. He says (and I paraphrase), if you can understand the name of God you can then understand his nature. Well, that sounded okay to me, theoretically. But, really, think about it for a moment. Names are not for us, are they? I know who I am. Descartes said: "I think, therefore I am." Not, I am named, therefore I am...." Okay, I like splitting hairs. It's my Blog! LOL But, really, my name means more to someone else than to me, right? So, in scripture, when God uses names such as Jehovah or Elohim or Jesus, those names are for our benefit to give glimpses into who he is. Metaphors employed, such as shepherd, father, bridegroom, brother, et al., are also used to show us portraits of facets of who God is and His place among us as a people. It's not necessarily to box God in; surely He's not a shepherd in a classical sense or a father, etc., but those metaphoric roles give us something that we as human constructs can relate too.
So, back to the whole name thing and Erwin's, know God's name/understand his nature comment. Erwin began to relay the story of Moses, who while up on the mountain Sinai (or Tent of Meeting, its not clear to me), asked the Lord to show him His glory. Now, this is in Exodus 33; there is another rendition of this in the very next chapter. One chapter he proclaims His name, the next He just shows up kind of impromptu and does essentially the same thing, with more elaborate detail. It was this latter that Erwin refers too:
5 Then the LORD came down in a pillar of cloud and called out his own name, "the LORD," as Moses stood there in his presence. 6 He passed in front of Moses and said, "I am the LORD, I am the LORD, the merciful and gracious God. I am slow to anger and rich in unfailing love and faithfulness. 7 I show this unfailing love to many thousands by forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion[....]Notice the ellipses in brackets on the end there? I put them there because Erwin didn't finish the verse.Ex 34:5-7a (NLT, emphasis added)
Even so I do not leave sin unpunished, but I punish the children for the sins of their parents to the third and fourth generations."Before I go further this morning, let me go back to the other rendition or initial introduction to this whole event, depending on how you choose to look at it:Ex 34:7b (NLT)
18 Then Moses had one more request. "Please let me see your glorious presence," he said.
19 The LORD replied, "I will make all my goodness pass before you, and I will call out my name, `the LORD,' to you. I will show kindness to anyone I choose, and I will show mercy to anyone I choose.I am sitting there in that church and immediately my mind goes, NO HE DIDN'T!!!! He also said that God uses jerks, by the way, so keep reading.... LOL I have always, always, ALWAYS hated that verse! Horror! "No he didn't just claim to hate a bible verse, did he?!?" YES, I did! I have never understood it; it has always sounded self serving and exclusionary to me. Even six years in Evangelical ministry could never make me pick that thing up as a text. First of all, who doesn't want their most notable national patriarch to be the only one who knows God and talks to Him face to face? Secondly, compassion on whom he chooses to show it?!? Holding children and grandchildren AND great-great-great-grandchildren complicit and accountable for/in my sin? I am sorry, but over the years that's a part of God's name (and if so, his nature) that I have just not been able to accept.Ex 33:18-19 (NLT)
I was all flustered, but it was as if all of a sudden, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, "Chris, (and I love it when I hear Him speak my name), you do not have to look at it that way." But, I don't like and I, I, I.... every objection fell before His feet. "Chris, you're looking at it all wrong." Okay, now that was offensive! LOL Arrogance, oh God! He's proving to be the most patient and merciful friend I've ever had. And while the portrait of God smiting anyone is hard for me, if I was Him, I'd smite my own self sometimes. But He is loving and long-suffering... ever looked at that word, long-suffering? It means exactly what it says. Suffering is not abstract and it lasts a LONG time! It reminds me of Jesus in Matthew 17 (healing of the lunatic son) when He said, how long must I suffer with you idiots (my paraphrase!) ?
God continued to speak to me as Erwin continued: "I can show mercy and I can withhold it; but, Chris, everything you know about me tells you that I take no delight in the death of the wicked." My wife and I were talking just last night and I remembered that scripture in Hosea 11 where God speaks of Ephraim:
1 "When Israel was a child, I loved him as a son, and I called my son out of Egypt. 2 But the more I called to him, the more he rebelled, offering sacrifices to the images of Baal and burning incense to idols. 3 It was I who taught Israel how to walk, leading him along by the hand. But he doesn't know or even care that it was I who took care of him. 4 I led Israel along with my ropes of kindness and love. I lifted the yoke from his neck, and I myself stooped to feed him.It was as if God was saying to me, "I am sorry, Chris, that I couldn't work it out in a way more palatable to your 21st century sensibilities. The world I created was perfect and the man I made was perfect but when it went wrong, the world went bad too. And, it is harsh and ugly and cold and dark and people die and children go to sleep at night hungry and war threatens civilization at every turn and...nothing in this world is the way its suppose to be, and I don't like it anymore than you do. But, I did something about it."Hosea 11:1-4 (NLT)
You can't see me this morning, but tears stain my face as I write this. David writes in Psalms 85:10:
Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other. (KJV)
Over the years, I am certain I have read that verse a hundred times. So much as been written about it, its language and beauty are unparalleled in Hebrew scripture. Mercy and truth both seek different ends. Mercy cries for relief and help and hope, while truth speaks of just desserts and getting what one deserves. They pass each other, one going to entreat for the sins of man, another bound to bring justice to the earth. In a moment - in an instant, the conflict was over. Gazing upon one another in the person of Jesus, the left hand of exclusion met the right hand of acceptance. One kissed another and the conflict was ended, forever.
In the New Testament, Paul puts it this way:
...Jesus Christ, the Son of God, never wavers between yes and no. He is the one whom Timothy, Silas, and I preached to you, and he is the divine Yes—God's affirmation. 20 For all of God's promises have been fulfilled in him. That is why we say "Amen" when we give glory to God through Christ.Why couldn't I see that before? Years of questioning, wondering if I had chosen the right God. Nights of fear and bitterness over why God seemingly loved some and hated me. Oh my, that is the issue. "You've accepted him or her and you did this or that for this person and look at my plight, God! Look at me! Why can't I see your glory, why can't I be your friend..... why do I hurt and why, with nine children and a lovely wife and everything I could ever want or need, why am I so alone???"2 Cor 1:17-20 (NLT, emphasis added)
It's the dichotomy of, "my God, my God, why have you forsaken me" and "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." The very same Jesus who says "Yes!" is the very same Jesus who also felt the exclusionary "No!" He came to his own and his own didn't receive him; that's classic rejection. How often did he retreat to the mountains in Paneas to pray because he was grieved in spirit, hurt, if you will. The writer of Hebrews puts it this way:
[I]t was necessary for Jesus to be in every respect like us, his brothers and sisters, so that he could be our merciful and faithful High Priest before God. He then could offer a sacrifice that would take away the sins of the people.And then again:Heb 2:17 (NLT)
God, I hurt! "I know." Jesus, I've been abused and used and people have seen me as nothing but a means to an end! "I know, I've been there, son." My family has despised me and my father and mother rejected me, abandoned, leaving me alone... 'I know that too!" I don't know how to do all the things your asking me, God... "It's okay.", comes the reply.14 That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. 15 This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same temptations we do, yet he did not sin. 16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it.
Heb 4:14-16 (NLT)
"Mercy and truth were headed along the same road one day, both deposed on your behalf: one to argue for and another against you. Not man, not humanity, not the world, but Me! I fought for you that day; I wrestled truth and mercy together until they kissed in abandoned embrace. So, now, I've felt your pain, heard your cries and desperation, been right there sitting in the very seat you occupy this morning. But, I have also seen your healing, your restoration, your future, your end."
Last evening, my wife and I were reading various scriptures and talking and she spoke one to me that I have always liked but had mixed emotions about:
11 For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.What a beautiful verse and I accept it. But it's the preceding verse that's always troubled me. Jeremiah is writing to the captives in Babylon who are wanting and expecting God's deliverance to come any moment. The prophet tells them otherwise, and if you study it out, he paid a heavy price for it, being considered false and unpatriotic:Jer 29:11 (NLT)
10 "The truth is that you will be in Babylon for seventy years.Jer 29:10a (NLT)
That is not what they wanted to hear: truth, judgment. But, this whole passage personifies the meeting of mercy and truth along the way in such profound and beautiful ways. I apologize for breaking it up the way I have, but let's put it all together:
10 "The truth is that you will be in Babylon for seventy years. But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again. 11 For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. 14 I will be found by you," says the LORD. "I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and bring you home again to your own land."So you ask, "what does all this have to do with me today?". Oh, I am so glad you asked that question! What is God saying here? "Chris, I know your hurt, you were sexually and physically abused. I know the very people who were entrusted to care for you were the very ones who devastated you the most. I've seen every tear, heard every cry, I've even wept for you myself. I've seen you in captivity to drugs and alcohol, I have watched you struggle as a father and a husband. Over the years, when you stumbled, I picked you up. When you couldn't help yourself, I did. You see, you haven't always been able to see past the unpleasantness of the moment, the pain. It can be blinding. You've been homesick and fatherless, and I've watched over you, holding your hand when you tried to walk, drawing you, sometimes when you least wanted it, with cords of my everlasting love.Jer 29:10-14 (NLT, emphasis added)
But, listen Chris, never, not for an instance, have I ever forgotten who you are. Never, have I ever abandoned my plans and purposes for you. Your friends, your family, your colleagues forgot who you were and are, but not I. My plans and purposes for you were woven inextricably in my love for you on the Cross of Calvary and nothing, no one, can ever, will ever, take that away from you. You're coming home! And when you cry, I will hear; when you seek me, you will find me. And hear this, I have ended your captivity and restored your fortunes!"
I hear that this morning; ringing in my spirit so loudly that it's almost deafening. But, it's not just me, is it? You hear it too. God is speaking, not just to me, but to many of you with similar narratives and pain. "...God saves those who are crushed in spirit!" (Psalms 34:18, NASV 1977, emphasis added) Please, don't let the moment pass. Restoration is just a cry away!
I leave you this morning with a song sung by CeCe Winans:
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