Thursday, November 27, 2008

Choosing to see the world positively, if only for one day! Happy Thanksgiving!

No blog would be complete without a traditional Thanksgiving post. I know for me, I need to take more time to reflect upon the good things in my life that I have to be thankful for. It's so easy to get into a negative rut and spend more time complaining and contemplating the less than perfect side of life. Sure, things may not always be the way we want them to be but in the end we can find many examples of people who have it allot worse than us.

Over the last forty years, I am not so sure that I have always gotten it. But, I am learning that to be truly thankful means that we have to be equally as grateful for the difficult times as well as the good. It's the rough places in my life that has built the greatest character. It has been in the darkest hours that I have learned the most about what it means to trust. In betrayal, I have learned how to love; in loss, I have learned how to value the things that I have. Life is not always what we want it to be; however, it is fundamentally the one thing that we should be most thankful for.

I would be amiss today to fail to mention my wonderful family. My wife: a woman who does what she has to do and does it faithfully and with grace. She bears a burden she was never meant to bear. My disability has put allot on her over the years. There have been times when I have been so single minded, lamenting my woes, that I've forgotten just how important she is to me and to our entire family. She makes the world go round; our family would not survive without all that she does and all that she is. It is great to take this time to reflect on her and what she means to me; but, everyday should be Thanksgiving in that regard.

Nine beautiful children, all healthy, smart, and well adjusted, are mine to be grateful for. Twenty-one years ago when my first daughter was born, I never imagined that I would be sitting here, twenty-one years into the future, writing this with eight additional children. I was only nineteen at the time and just the thought of one little bundle of love depending on me for everything was almost more than I could handle. I could never of imagined having eight more children.

The Divine smiled on me though: happy is the man whose quiver is full of arrows! (Ps 127:5) My children have been the one thing that has always been constant in my life in adulthood. Jobs, relationships, geography, physical health, everything has come and gone, but my children have remained for me to love and to be loved by them. There have been times when I could not find within myself a good enough reason to get out of bed in the morning, but when I thought of them, I somehow gained the strength to get up and do what I needed to.

Today, I have four girls left in the house: ages ten to two. I have the next sixteen years, at least, to live in a home where I am the only male. Right now my oldest son is still with me, my last reprieve. But, he's soon to jump out of the nest and leave me behind, so to speak. I just shudder at the thought of being in chick flick hell, weeks where nothing I do is right or enough. Even in this, however, I am thankful. These four girls are so beautiful and it will be such an honor to watch them grow up and become women with character and integrity, intelligence and resourceful; all the things they see and emulate in their mother.

Over the years its become a tradition in our family to sit together after the meal has settled and go around the room giving each person the opportunity to mention one thing they are most thankful for. When we first started doing it every one was kind of self conscious and awkward about it. But, I think it is becoming one of our more treasured holiday activities. Consequently, I challenge everyone who reads this blog today to do the same. Sure, you don't have sit around and say it out loud like we do, but just take some today to reflect on the good things in your life, the good people that surround you. Say thank you to someone who has meant allot to you. Hug your spouse today and tell them how you truly love and appreciate them. Gather your children together and let them know just how thankful you are that God chose you to be their parent.

I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving. Those in other countries where you do not celebrate the tradition, take some time today, regardless. to do what I've mentioned above. A thankful heart is not toxic. A grateful heart sees the world through the lenses of love, acceptance, and equality. Blessings to you all and may you all enjoy your time with friends and family!


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